It is always good to respect yourself and know your worth, but very uninteresting to be very illogical and self-absorption. Many people do think they can easily figure out narcissist when they come across one, since narcissists are only interested about themselves and being the center of attention, right? So, the issues now is that most narcissists are quite difficult to understand because they can hide their true color from people who don’t know the correct signs to look for.
It is observed that a narcissist only reveals their true colors when they’re in fight or disagreement and arguments, that’s when they tend to show out who they are. Meanwhile, narcissism is a form of the disease that is generally born out of massive insecurity. When a person received insufficient love or when they were not taken care of and been neglected during their early childhood years, they later resulted into people who are selfishly obsessed with their own well-being. They care less about others and always interested in their personal comfort which shows they lack empathy.
So, you need to really study the person you’re in a relationship with, not only in term of their attitudes but also with regards to their way of life so that you won’t be a victim of circumstance whereby you’re been used for selfish interest without knowing. And in fact, you studying those signs will enable to you to realise that it is not worth spending time, emotion and energies on because the only thing you’re going to be doing is feeding their need to be the absolute center of attention in any way they can get it.
Here are signs that narcissists do which reveals their true color:
1. They easily manipulate emotions: These set of people are very confrontational to the extent that they can actually make you feel a sense of guilty if there’s any issues that happened. Like if you’re in a relationship with them, they might be angry and provoked but will make it seems you’re the one angry, in fact they changed the narrative and put it on you. Narcissist can never accept to be at fault in any scenario, rather you’re the one that always do mistake and at fault. This shows that the inability and unwillingness to take responsibility for actions and words under any circumstances are also narcissistic characteristic.
2. They are emotionally unavailable during conflicts: Let us take for example you decided to challenge a narcissist for their mistake. If you confront them with facts and make them realize how their actions and inactions is affecting your relationship, you’ll see in them that they are attentive to your submission but as soon as you’re done with your submission, they will just withdraw emotionally and physically: crossed arms, silent treatment, cold shoulder, stonewalling and ignore you and your request. In fact, that action would then upset you further because they are not willing to engage you in emotional discussion that can shape and better your relationship. In the long run, they will make things seems you’re at fault for raising such observation in the first place and make it look like if you hadn’t do such, they won’t have been quiet. This attitude is a form of manipulation that makes the other person think that all the problems in the relationship are their fault and that’s how narcissist behave.
3. They posses vindictive behavior: Another issue with narcissists is that they always behave as if they can’t err. To the extent that if you’re in an argument with them, they’ll pretend and stand out as if you’re wrong and they’re right. They will always makes you feel like you don’t know what you’re saying/doing. Or should you be in a relationship with a narcissist and broke up, the next thing you’ll hear/see is that they have told people they dumped you and not you dumping them. This shows that narcissists are always at alert to spread lies about who was right and who was wrong, eager to label you as the person who had wronged them in every situation. The narcissist is always the one to paint themselves as the victim, no matter what, even if they are clearly in the wrong.
4. They always choose to be superior: Narcissists do not believe there’s time to apologize and back off when they do mistake, their own is that they can never accept to lose an argument or debate. So, they will bring you their entire barrage of inappropriate dialogues, mean things, rude behavior, as long as it ensures their own win. To the extent that if some sort of argument or disagreement has escalated enough for them to lose their friends and family ties, they don’t care so far they are the ones who are “winning” in the argument.
Note: It is not easy to manage a narcissist most especially when you’re entirely not aware on reason why someone is behaving the way that they are. So you need to study those behaviors and get to know how you can free yourself from a toxic relationship.